Who knows what I've done if this isn't my memory?

Things are growing inside of me, that have been planted long ago with loops and spirals.

People are out to get me.

Once reality bends on you, you have with u an acute anxiety and extreme distrust for reality.

I have post traumatic stress disorder (PTS) about everything in life, of my nightmares and my dreams, of my nightmares for they may be real, and of my dreams for they may never come. I have PTS of waking up every day and looking at society, but most of all I have it for the ill's i have not done yet. (reverse continuality and non linear logic)

If I can understand MY shorthand notes, or secrete codes, then do others have there's? how many times have i seen it, and are they using it against me? (numbers on walls, and light fittings and what not)

I have irrational anxieties... like that through the next door there will be giant head of fire which will eat me into some of the most tortures places on earth.

how do i know that being stabbed causes death, it could be that u believe I've been stabbed. how do i know that anything is real. how do i know that effect doesn't create cause, and were all looking at it the wrong way. God isn't in time, maybe thats an indicator that I'm thinking more like him.

Chaos theory and the infinite connections of reality; How many people have I killed?

Expected hallucination paranoia, hallucinations caused by the paranoia of what I expect to hallucinate behind that next door or corner?

Which causes which? does the paranoia hallucinating cause the hallucination, or do the hallucinations cause the paranoia?

Which causes which? (effect causing cause?) does the paranoia about <event> cause the <event>, of does the <event> cause the paranoia? NON LINEAR TIME/THOUGHT.... the event may happen in the future, and if it does, it IS still a specific event that DOES exist... it may be inevitable what with all this paranoia.

Maybe I deserve this pain, maybe it was sent by god, or the universe, or what ever.... I only feel normal in altered states. maybe it's punishment for that.

maybe i deserve it for not listening to god when i hear him in my head.

maybe i deserve it for not following coincedencies enough... i can't stress this enough, You MUST follow all coincedencies. (They are the strong cracks in this fractal)

tho there are infinite connections, anything can be linked to anything, so it's all a coincidence... but u know the kind i mean... the kind u remember, and that stand out.

Maybe I'm already dead, maybe this is a dream, maybe I've been re-incarnated...

...maybe all superstitions are true, maybe there are souls in water, and souls are water, maybe stuff causes stuff... anything causes anything, there are infinite connections so i dont see why not.

how can i know if i can never know the truth and what it is.

notice coincidence, look for errors.

what if everything is getting bigger or smaller, how could anyone tell, or by the same note, if time was expanding and contracting? like how we all spin and dont know it. Motion, space and time all changing without anyone knowing, reality not being, but no one here to tell, or what if we could go through things, just not when were touching them , arrggghhhhhh.

I've got 5 words for you, non-linear cause and effect

For the moments that you read others works, in part, for those moments are they thinking for you?

I think there for i am, so when I'm not thinking am i? What about when reading or indulging in the thoughts of others? Am i part them? Do i want to not be? would i become what i see? what if i close my eyes?

determinism & freewill, inanimate things with feelings but no expression, non-linear causality and thought (Fractal thought, thinking for people when they read your writing, Zen time travel and finally, something ness less some things

The classification of something ness less something (in the class of 'something') gives rise to a whole world of thing ness less things to imagine and fall into (ie seeing animal ness less animals roaming the streets with you)

We are nothingness less nothing

insanity paradox; in sanity... being in the core of sanity... being INsane. but if u try to not be insane. u must travel away from sanity.... and whats away from sanity? insanity... it is the infinite, so go insane, as u eventually will.

How can u tell the difference between a hallucination and reality?

Can u really think of nothingness?

Imagine a world where u dont exist... but then how could u be imagining it, if u dont exist there?

if u read my words , am i thinking for you?

Is this familiar or do i just think this is familiar? Do i know this, or am i just thinking that i think i know this?

"I have an intangible, invisible pebble in my had." (Do you want to hold it? It's the gateway to imagination.)

schizophrenia is the gateway to true imagination. (which real is real?)